I wanted to write about this while it’s fresh in my mind.  Full disclosure, L and I have not weaned yet.  He is still happily nursing and I am happy as well.  I am lucky enough to work from home 8-6 more or less, and I have the ability to nurse him during the day or pump and our nanny can give him a fresh bottle of milk.  The challenging parts come with near weekly work travel and at night time when he wants to nurse all night long.  But for me personally, it’s worth continuing because he’s happy, and I know that these moments will be gone before I can bat one of these combination-fill eyelash extensions that’s hanging on for dear life.

A friend of mine posted on Facebook today that she was having a hard time weaning her 13-month-old.  In an instant I hopped on the judgement train thinking, “She’s a stay at home mom, what else has she got to do?” and, “Babies don’t self wean until at least 18 months, what’s the rush?”. 

As much as I am a breastfeeding champion (not a competitive breastfeeder, though that would be cool, but rather someone who promotes breastfeeding), I had to take a whole stadium of seats when a like-minded friend said to me, “Sounds like mama is ready to wean”. 

It was a good reminder to me that there are two people in this nursing relationship, and the mama counts.  As women, and particularly mothers, altruism is an expectation.  We’re expected to literally give every last drop, moment of wakefulness, and ounce of energy that we have to our babies and our families and we gladly do it time and time again.  But there comes a time when the well gets a little dry, what with all of the outpouring of love and the shedding of blood, sweat, tears, and breast milk.

The World Health Organization recommends that mothers breastfeed exclusively for the first 6 months, and continue complimenting solid foods for 2 years or more thereafter.  That said, any amount of breastfeeding for any length of time, and in any combination is beneficial for your baby.  

If you choose not to continue to breastfeed, make sure that it’s your choice.  Below are some reasons why you shouldn’t stop breastfeeding:

• Your Mom, Sister, Doctor, Husband, Friend or Gardener says it’s time to wean – Honestly, this is none of their business.  If you want to continue breastfeeding, and so does your baby, continue on mama.  Your baby, your tits, your decision.  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for at least the first 6 months, and preferably a year.  The World Health Organization recommends at least two years.  Just because your best friend booted her baby from the boobie at 8 months, doesn’t mean you should too.  Tell her to mind her own nips.
  

• Because it’s “weird” – Again, the major research organizations for pediatric and global health care recommend breastfeeding for at least 6 months and preferably 2 years and beyond.  Exclusive breastfeeding in the first six months protects baby from infectious diseases and increases their chance of survival and thriving.  Extended breastfeeding aids in development and continues to protect baby against infectious diseases.  It NOT weird, it’s NORMAL and NATURAL.  If you choose to stop breastfeeding, make sure that it’s because you are ready to end the relationship, and not because some stuffy assholes are telling you it’s what you should do. 

• My supply tanked, so I have to stop – First, contact your local La Leche League leader, or an IBCLCto see if your supply has in fact tanked, or if maybe you are perceiving a lower supply.  It’s normal for moms to worry, and sometimes it’s just normal changes in baby’s behavior or in the feeling of your breasts that cause moms to believe that their supply has tanked.  There are many other factors that could contribute; bad pump parts, mom not drinking enough or eating enough calories, nursing strikes, teething and so on.  If you’re still interested in nursing, GET HELP from a professional.  You can rebound and get your milk back even if you’re down to a drip.  If don’t want to go on, be honest with yourself that you’re simply ready for the journey to end.  No shame in wanting your body to be yours again, or whatever other reason you’re ready to stop.
  

• My baby doesn’t want to nurse anymore – If your baby is under 18 months, that’s very unlikely.  Baby’s don’t commonly self-wean before 18 months, and more realistically, 2 years.  Nursing relationships go through seasons, just like every other relationship.  Speak with a LLL leader, or an IBCLC (see above), and find out if your baby is having some other issue; teething, tongue or lips ties, thrush, developmental changes that make her easily distracted, or a strike.  This could a very short lived phase, so if you still want to continue to nurse, keep offering the breast, and get help from a professional!  If you don’t, that OK mama.  Learn how to start the weaning process with the least stress to both you and baby.
  

So with that, I tuck my tail between my legs, and admit that my first reaction to my friend’s weaning her baby was dead wrong.  You matter mama.  If you want to wean, be intentional, make it your personal choice, and educate yourself on how to safely and gently do so.  And please keep me posted on how rough or easy the weaning hormones are.  I’m bracing myself for that [cringe].